Poop Lelo

Oh DEAR! The math cynical of pinnacle was all! WRONG DAM IT!

ALL WRONG I tell ye all! In the past few mins or well hours or even days has passed now when use are reading but we are in the moment now ok get it? A guy that is known to me has became a girl…how is this possible? But still has a prick ;) Oh I get it a chic with a prick its very creepy tho it reminds me of navy lads. They always seem to be doing weird stuff like that. Soon this world will not have any breeding pairs it’ll all just be for the craic and the whole human race will diminish.

People think I’m a homophobe of sorts because I don’t support gay rights but truth be told I don’t really have anything against them. It doesn’t even annoy me, but the only ones that do annoy me is the ones that flaunt it in my face otherwise what ya do behind close doors is of your own concern and not mine so knock yourself out. 

Is it just me or over the past well few decades has society has takin a huge turn? Probably from the hippy ages of all the lsd and weed and whatever drug they lapped up has caused people to go make love not war or whatever there saying is… but is it just me or do guys in this modern age look more feminine and try to take good care of themselves sometimes even out doing women in the daily routines? Compared to the older generations? Just food for thought…. 

One thing Kai always mentions or says is that the universe is infinite but its expanding hows it infinite? Wheres it expanding too? It’s a total head f@ck. It’s baffled me and always will darn you Kai>>>>>>>

Then they found a planet that’s made outta diamond. Imagine that how rich you’d be if you could some how just do a raid on that planet and steal a few hundred diamond rocks from those man eating abducting aliens that are hugely more technically advanced. Its surely the case of get rich or die trying right there, in new context. 

A very funny thing is theres urinal thief’s at large in the US of A. Alabama to be precise. They stole them from swanky stuck up there own arse peoples restaurants and hotels. They never mentioned if they were gold plated or anything but gave me the tickles, and near pissed myself laughing. 

If you haven’t noticed Kai has now monitized her blog so there probably will be adverts appearing at the sides and such. 

On my new adventure I’m getting asked to cover all sorts of events. So far I’ve only been able to take one up in Dublin as most people ask are days I’m at work. Then one of the missionaries that visit us we went on a trip with us to an old ruined castle were I also took pictures. One of the elders bought 15 prints of the same picture printed on 4x6 photo paper as postcards. We were going to do it for free but he insisted to pay fair play. I also have about 100 empty plastic key rings to sell on eBay but personalise them with peoples pictures. Other sources on ebay are making a mint doing so I’ve also printed out a picture and framed it in a lovely styled wooden photo-frame and am going to see if there is any one out there who may buy it? Possibly. If you haven’t seen the wee adventure I’m on or know much about it you should check out this website http://www.tsrmedia.net// theres lots to look at there and will be continually updated as new adventures are had. It’s a hobby for me which brings in a little bit of cash. It’s just the case of getting the site seen is the main problem. If you are interested in helping share the site about, and if you do well HERES A MASSIVE IN CAPITALS THANK YOU!!!!!!. 

See, there’s Method in my madness. There always has been but the shrink didn’t think SOO…………………………………well screw him anyway he thought he new the craic. 

Hey Tristy, thanks for the email btw. There will be one coming your way soon maybe you even got it but I love ya too, and on the whole love thing by the way everyone I loves use all too. 

The difference for me now is this time last year well, I had a super small family now its pretty much quadrupled in size maybe even more than that. If I remember rightly wee Tristy is looking into my family history for temple work if that is the right way of saying it, or is it ordinances? I’m very interested to see what she uncovers if she can uncover anything as with my family they have never gave very much help or insight to me when I tried looking into it and hit dead ends all roads as they either didn’t want to tell me on somethings and on others they just couldn’t remember. 

Hahahhahahhahahahahahah Just imagine me evil laughing…………

Ok so I got to read Kai’s blog before I wrote this part and hahah whats her rant about her going of on yankees abroad? Really yanks didn’t know their country is the most hated in the world? Which is probably because of the arrogant ones Kai went off on which surprised me when I read it thought she was getting all. 

Oh yes Kelcie. No it’s my turn to mention good ole you ya wee pixie queen. Congrats getting sent to France (please don’t tell me you’re excited for frogs legs and snails yuck yuck yuck) that will be an awesome adventure for you. A real challenge for you to use all that french you have learned over the years so congrats and good luck and enjoy the mission. Can’t wait to read all your emails. 

I think a lot of people here have a huge vendetta against me or something as a car tried to side smash me a week or two ago heading to college, then again this morning, and then one driver drove through a red light and I near took them out at cross roads. To drive in Ireland make sure you have dialed your emergency stop and have sharp responsiveness as most drivers don’t seem to give a f@ck here and pay no attention. The other day I was passing a car and the person behind the wheel was reading something while typing on a laptop at 70mph crazy. It seems we all get the fecking license outta a cereal box, seemingly.

Soon I’ll find out if I have passed the first stage of my university course. College has two weeks left but has been getting dialed perfectly. I’ve a few things left to finish there and its all good and if we have time we are doing a Microsoft developer certification at the end of this year. Thank feck first year on both courses pretty much completed. So fingers crossed it all goes super sweet. ROLL ON SUMMER HOLIDAYS……………………………………………………..>>>>>

This blog writing is pretty great craic ya know keeping all you guys informed of random things that we get up to over here. 

Shit, every time I start typing for Kai’s blog my fingers just run miles and near write a book of random stuff that nobody would actually ever read. Ps not as fast as my legs can run though….Screw it! Time to go back to work on auto-pilot robot.  

Well a few days later and boom guess what I found found a four leaf clover out by the river by our apartment with wee Kai just outta chace lucky me yey….... 

The Rain Song

Come one! Come all! Join me for the feast of foooooools!! It’s that time again to feast upon my words! Or if you’d like to do what Tristan loves to do, mock me for all my errors. And you people thought she was so sweet and innocent. The truth finally comes out!! She made Kelcie shave her eyebrows*!!!

I hear it’s getting nice and toasty roast in the good US of A. Laugh it up now but I’ll be laughing when that skin cancer catches up with you! Theres no such thing as rain or cloud cancer is there?! NOPE!! Ha, ha!! Well, now that we’ve established that I will out live all of you and you will hence forth address me as “eternal master”, I’m ready to get to the rest of the blog.

For those of you who do not know Kelcie received her mission call a while ago and is going to be serving in the Paris, France mission. Personally I think that a foofy Frenchy poof mission will fit Kelcie perfectly. Taytay knows what I’m talking about. Speaking of the devil, crazy that he’s almost been out for a year already! See mom and Aunt Tara, it’ll go by really fast! Faster than Kelcie will be able to age into an old wrinkly spinster because she sure has been twelve for an long time. Seriously though, I think Kelcie is going to have an awesome mission and I know that she will do an awesome job. She has a strong testimony and is crazy, who wouldn’t want to listen at least one of those?! She doesn’t leave until October so enjoy getting skin cancer with her this summer before she comes back old and wrinkled.

I finally have been okayed by Immigrations to get a job :) Yippie skippy!! Hopefully I can get a job soon!! I’m not legal but can work while they review my application and should hear from them by August. As some of you know, things have been a little stressful lately because we’ve had some very large utility bills. We should have everything sorted now but it was pretty unsettling there for a while. I guess that’s God’s way of hazing us as “newlyweds”. 

As Leo and I have mentioned in pervious blogs, Leo is into photography and has recently put up ads one different websites trying to get people to hire him to take pictures. So far his first and only client has been a gay couple. I think it’s Gods way of telling him to be more accepting of people, at least when they are paying you. He took some nice pictures but I will say that he’s really talent lies with nature scenes. Still, it was a good way to get some money :) Even though he had to miss work for it. He called in and said he couldn’t come in because I was in the hospital…..that’s the second time he’s done that. You don’t think it could be…a sign….do you?

Believe it or not this is my 100th post. If you've read all of my post so far, thanks for the support but also, you might want to think about getting off the computer and do something else like ride a bike. Kelcie has a great bike she'll lend out for your bike riding adventure.

One thing I’ve come to realize is that it seems to me (meaning it is just my opinion) but Americans think that because they are Americans they are entitled whatever they want when they travel abroad. Now this is like with most things, not every American is like this but a good majority are. Having lived there 24 years of my life I can see why. I’m sure this applies to countries other than US but from a young age we are taught we live in the best country in the world. I’m not saying that it is or isn’t. We are taught that other countries want to be us and people all over the world wish they could be American. Maybe you don’t agree with what I’m saying but just hear me out. Just because you may be an American traveling around, or some other entitled person of a different nationality, get off your high horse and stop treating people like dirt. You’re not always going to get what you want so suck it up princess and deal with it. People aren’t going to give you special treatment because you’re American so stop throwing a fit and move on so the people near you can get on with their lives too.

One of the things in this world that I could do without is old dog farts. They are the definition of stink. My mom may disagree tonight when the blanket is fluffed but I still maintain that old dog farts are uck, as Leo would say. You may be wondering why I am talking about old dogs and their gas since I am never around dogs, young or old, these days. Well, the other day I was printing something and I squatted down to load the paper into the printer and while I was squatting I started to get this waft of old dog fart. Old dog farts never lie so I stopped what I was doing and went poo. Old dog farts may stink, but they're not as uck as cleaning out your underwear or pants if you go commando. But who really wants an eternal wedgie all day?

A few weeks ago Leo had a “hard on for waterfalls” (his words not mine) and so two days in a row we went out to different forest parks in the Mourne Mountains. He took a bunch of pictures and so did I :) You can view them here. Last Monday, we went out with the missionaries to this cool castle. Castle Roche. This castle was pretty cool. The outer wall was still intact and up and so I was able to climb up and walk along the wall just like the guards use to do :) It was intact enough that one of the hallways for the wall were intact as well so Leo, de Vries, and myself climbed up and walked around. I noticed that a birds nest had once been made on one of the ledges to the archery windows and noticed a strange smell along the hallway. I looked around and found another old birds nest. This one was really tall so I stood on my tip toes to see into it but being the shorty that I am still couldn't see into it. I jumped up and saw a dead baby bird. As I came down I landed on uneven ground which caused be to take a quick step to the left. This step produced the horrible sound of a bird being stepped on. I looked down and did a cartoon leap into the air and magically transported myself to the entrance where de Vries was. Turns out there was a dead baby bird on the ground and somehow me stepping on it produced a little chirp. Poor birds. May their souls, stepped on or not, rest in peace. Leo took some cool pictures. One of the elders liked a picture so much he paid Leo to make it into a postcard for him and I wanted to share it with you all :)

 After going to Castle Roche, we took them to the Castletown Motte that I took my parents to. Elder Bailey jumped off one of the walls and now might have to go back to Canada to have surgery on his knee because he hurt it so bad. If you would please pray for him so that he doesn’t have to go back home. He really doesn’t want to leave. Leo says the stuff with the missionaries is grand. As long as he continues to enjoy them we will continue to have them over. There is no pressure from me to keep them. He wants them to come so they do. 

For those of you who are curious, the poll about my hair length that was put up back in the beginning of May; there were two for short hairs and two for long hairs. Since you guys don't exercise your right to vote, because I know there are more than 4 of you, I have vetoed the poll. I have more than 4 Polish views so I know that I have more readers than my excellent Polish crowd. You darn lazy Americans....

Thank you to all of you who have been so supportive of us! We both really appreciate it and just wanted to let you know how much you mean to us both and how much it means to have your support. And on this happy note I will leave you until next time. Have a great one kids :)

*Kelcie is really the one responsible for shaving her eyebrows despite whatever claims she has against me.

Long One

Well, howdy there. I hope all you Americans are doing so super well and are enjoying the sunshine for me. All of you who aren’t Americans, I hope you’re doing well too. I guess. Moving on! After Rostrevor and Dùn An Ri, Leo and I went out one Sunday to what we thought was going to be a really cool place to walk and enjoy the rare Irish sunshine. We got there and it was some memorial thing. It was still interesting but not anything what I was expecting. We (meaning Leo) decided to drive up the road see what else we could find. We came across an old castle. It looked more like a place soldiers live.....what’s that word? We’ll just call it a solider house and you’ll all nod and smile like you happily understand. So we went up to this solider house *que for nodding and smiling* and had a look around. It was a really pretty view of the valley around. One the way down Leo showed me his full moon and man is that thing bright even in daylight!! Irish white, believe it or not, is whiter than Karcie white. Sorry mom. I know that you liked being the whitest shade of white but the torch has been passed and the only way to get it back would be to make yourself a tone slightly darker than translucent. After I got my eye sight back, poor as it is it’s better then seeing nothing, we found a cool forest park that we are going to go back and explore at some later date. Pictures of all the above (except the super white full moon) click here.

It is funny how things work out. It was fairly decent weather two weeks before my parents showed up but since then it has been you’re typical Irish weather with plenty of liquid sunshine :) I got that from a guy in Belfast. That’s how it was almost everyday that my parents were here. 

Day 1

They arrived on Sunday May 4th and drove up to our place because of hotel checkin times. They went to church with me and my mom practically slept through church. Unfortunately she still had the afternoon and evening to stay awake. For some unknown reason I didn’t have my camera with me the first few days of there trip here so you’ll have to look at my dad’s pictures. I took them to the ruins near our place and then into town where I found out my dad and Leo share a similar problem. No, unfortunately is not their running abilities, though I’m sure my dad would love it if they could share those. It’s the fact that they both pee like they are pregnant. Now the last time I checked seahorses and a few other animals have the dad give birth. I didn’t think I married a seahorse and I know Leo’s not a girl. If he is a girl he has a big deformity below the belt. I don’t know what their excuse is but whatever it was, mom and I (we didn’t use the toilet before leaving unlike someone...) were grateful that he had to go and made a quick turn around and headed back to Cois Croinn. Mom and dad helped cooked dinner and after Leo got home from work, my mom leaped for joy and ran off to the car. Well, as much as a jet-lagged Brewer can. We all know how well they skip on the best of days. 

Day 2

After setting off the smoke alarm, Leo served my parents up an Ulster Fry. You’ll have to ask them what they thought of it other than there was a lot of bread. After breakfast we headed off for Cliffs of Moher. Mom slept just about the whole way there. It was really good having a chat with my dad and sometimes my mom :) I’ve missed them lots. It was a good but long journey. The highlight was Leo getting zapped by the electric fence. 

Day 3

The next day we headed up to Ards and introduced my parents to the grands. Mick and his girlfriend stopped by to say hi as well so that was all fun :) After a quick hello we picked up some lunch and had a picnic at Scrabo Tower. From there we headed to Giant’s Causeway. It was a much more official visit than our first time there and a lot less windy as well. I will say that my sisters are going to have a fantastic time touring this small island. Oh and Jaden too. Which I hear he’s super smart, graduating high school, and giving a speech at his graduation or some nonsense like that. That would make sense because he’s such a noob. Congrats man!! That is pretty cool, even if you’re not a full fledged mistborn...

Scrabo Tower

Giant's Causeway

Day 4

Wednesday we left Leo in bed and headed off to Boyne Valley while he headed up North to school, which he found out once he got up there, was canceled. We went to the Boyne Valley Battle Site, which confused my mom and rained REALLY hard on us. Once it stopped raining, we got in the car and drove (typical) to Newgrange Memorial. This day was awesome because everywhere we went there were no entrance fees that day. At least that’s what they said. Maybe they were recognizing my mom as the queen she really is. After lunch we made quick stop in the town of Drogheda and headed back to Saltown where we met Leo before going out to Ravensdale. Kelcie didn’t get her mission call that night so we got to sleep all night and not get up at 2 AM. Horray!! Maybe this week though.

Newgrange

Ravensdale Forest

Video of the Goat Whisper

Day 5

The last day my parents were with us was my mom’s favorite and I’ll tell you why. We went to Carlingford, where it rained. and showed them the medieval town street and leprechaun cave (which wasn’t open). After that we stopped in Belfast for lunch and to get some gifts. In Belfast it rained until my dad bought a rain proof jacket. After a short drive up the coast we stopped at Carrickfergus Castle. This was my mom’s favorite spot. Ah! Not yet. We looked around the old keep and walked the walls and went to the bathroom. This was my mom’s favorite part of the trip. She’s not pregnant, well I sure hope not at their age, just very cold. The bathrooms were very well heated. Remember that if you ever come to Ireland on a visit. It made my mom’s trip and it could make yours! After the warm up, we headed to Bangor for a pier walk and some dinner. 

Carrickfergus Castle

Bangor

Complete Map of Travels in Ireland

After spending some time in Ireland, my parents headed over to Scotland for a few days and had some good old Highland fun. We met up with them again on Tuesday night after they flew into Dublin. They were super nice and got us a hotel to stay in so that we could bid them a-due Wednesday. Which was really quick and super sad. Since I got here I've enrolled in How to Cry 101. I practiced on my mom and dad's shoulders. If that had been my crying final I like to think I would have passed with flying colors.

Not much to report on the daily day stuff. I mailed off what I double hope and cross my toes for is the last set of documents immigration people needed. We should hear back from them soon. “Welcome to our country!” is what I’m praying for. Everything else is going well. I have my moments where I’m sure Leo wonders why he said yes just like I wonder why I decided to do so much change in my life. For someone that struggles with change, that was a really dumb idea on my part. Don’t get too use to that though. It was the first one in my entire life. Getting use to being married is hard enough without all this culture shock. Marriage is good though and I still love Leo with all my heart. I want to say thank you to all who voted on my poll and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all those motherly people out there :) I miss you and love you all!!

The Pinnacle of Cynical 

Some of use are probably wondering how I arrived at the pinnacle of cynical. 

Well it was the simple case of this equation 1002^678 = can you charm the knickers of a gothic fairy = no chance, which then in turn equalled the pinnacle of cynical. After a few other conversions through decimal, hexadecimal, binary, and then it was finally figured out and all mathematicians have also settled on the math of the title.

On the subject here's a challenge for use. For some it'll be easy for others it won't be so easy. Ok, so here it goes. So you’re a computer hacker on a mission and you have intercepted data from a SQL server. The data is encrypted 987654321. You intercepted prior communications and the prior communications said that the data is an Indian phone number. What is the decrypted number?? Answer in the comments and the answer will be in the next blog post. Hehe get cracking :-) 

It was great seeing Karcie and Brad or Brad lad and Karc with that beautiful arse. Hope you two had a super wicked awesome time in Ireland and yes its far prettier than Scotland!! No matter where you’re from!! Being surrounded by yanky doodles I’m kinda pickin up the slang. Back to Brad and Karcie, they drove here in Ireland very slowly. On country roads was funniest when Karc got all freaked and scared by on coming traffic tight bumpy lumpy twisty turny roads. Every, I’d say two mins, ya herd a chimp or monkey coming from the back of the car. At one point Brad near went through hedges at the side of the road because of a puddle covering up a huge pot hole but me and Brad lad remained calm and at the same time Karc and Kai screamed loud like they were on a super harsh, hairy n scary roller-coaster ride. For the next time Brad, heres a vid that will teach you how to use a roundabout properly, without upsetting lorry drivers or others that swore and pumped there horn at you. For next time dude, check out this video. http://youtu.be/a3W1JzWJ5Z4 Enjoy it will help. It was great showing you guys some great landmark areas here in Ireland and hope you two will defiantly return. It was greatest pleasure having use here, but next time Karc, your driving!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO CHECK OUT MY NEW WEBSITE http://www.tsrmedia.net/